Today was another big step for me.
Its not even been quite two years since I ate the first meat since childhood, and only little more than a year from the first batch of extra roosters I butchered with help. I have butchered quail in my kitchen sink, but largely, to this point I have gotten someone else to be my hit man.
Today was already an exciting day for me. I had bartered for an entire Holstein cow to put into my freezer. While there, it also became apparent my dear friend was also suffering from a problem of too many ganders mucking up the vibes among his mixed flock of birds.
He offered me two ganders for my dinner table and I didn’t hesitate. I never turn down free meat loaded up with yummy fat for my ketogenic diet, and well my buddy is my usual favorite hit man so I assumed those geese came at the very least deceased.
Today though, my buddy decides I’m ready for the next step and hands me his 410 shot gun, a gun my disabled body would have never been able to handle the tiny kick of two years ago. A gun I had spent more than three decades avoiding, a kill I spent a lifetime dodging to the detriment of my own health.
My buddy knows me well, and knows for sure not to give me time to overthink it. He puts me privately on the spot with the gun in my hand. Before I knew it I had locked onto the target and before I could even breathe to back out I pulled the trigger.
I can smell the goose cooking, and I am glowing because I faced some of my biggest fears today, the fear that I am not capable of hunting my own food, of handling the gun, and the butchering of a larger animal alone and disabled. Maybe someday I will get a little gun of my own and wander off (properly licensed to do so) and harvest a wild goose, or a wild Turkey, perhaps a small deer.
Never again will I question my ability to do it though and for that gift today I am grateful.